Wow, groundbreaking news: a clinical study of sixth graders in Michigan has found that poor lifestyle choices contribute to childhood obesity. Who would have thought? In case you’re curious, here are the choices that these obese children are making:
- Watching TV for 2+ hours a day (because we all know that standing up during commercials is going to solve the obesity crisis)
- Eating school lunches (because clearly, schools are serving nothing but deep-fried junk food)
- Not engaging in regular exercise, and not participating in a sport team (because who needs to run around when you can just sit on the couch and watch TV all day?)
- Drinking soda (because why choose water when you can have a sugary, calorie-laden beverage?)
- Forgetting to eat vegetables (because who needs those when you can just chug a liter of Mountain Dew?)
But don’t worry, dear reader, the study also provides some helpful tips for combatting childhood obesity. Here are a few.
- If you’re watching TV, try standing up during commercials or investing in a stationary bike or treadmill (because clearly, exercising while watching TV is the only way to be healthy)
- When choosing school lunches, opt for fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins like grilled chicken or fish (because school cafeterias are definitely serving up nothing but Big Macs)
- Engage in at least 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous physical activity per day (because who needs rest and relaxation?)
- Limit sugary drinks to 8 ounces per week (because water is just too boring)
- Choose water, milk, and other low-calorie or calorie-free beverages (because drinking a gallon of soda a day is totally normal)
So there you have it, folks. If you or your child are struggling with obesity, just follow these simple tips and you’ll be on your way to a healthy weight in no time. Because clearly, it’s just that easy.